Ben and I just returned from a few lazy days at the beach with friends. In the ice cream sundae that is our summer I would say this was the Oreos crumbled over the cherry smushed into the whipped cream squirted over the hot fudge drizzled on the scoop of Tillamook French vanilla bean. At this point we are just being greedy. But I am a-ok with that as it meant some last minute alone time with my man, more than one helping of peach pie, and a dinner that involved eating with my hands and five bowls of melted butter.
Frankly, it was good to be with friends who are kind enough to not let you b.s. your way through a conversation. To hash out the fears that always seem to come along with a new fall season. The ever present thirty days of the year where I question my identity and feel like every decision has to be made or it will be too late. To say out loud that I feel like I could get it wrong at any moment. I really should be used to it by now but it never fails to surprise me. I'm trying to see the beauty in a little angst but it still gives me the shivers.
And then as I washed the sand through my toes I was quietly reminded to let that grace that is always chasing me down, catch up and settle in to the dark spaces. I know those fears are continually creeping in and the process of surrender is a daily one but I'm thankful God doesn't leave me there for too long. I'll take peace however He hands it down and rest in knowing that it's enough.
For today, the peace, and the peach pie, is enough.
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