Pumpkin caramel cake and echoes of mercy (oh, yes I did)

Well my littles are down for the count and I'm inhaling cake like it's the end of the world.  Considering how tight my jeans were this week you'd think I wouldn't be eating this little pumpkin beauty with cream cheese frosting as if it were the last meal I'd ever see, but you'd be wrong.  I actually think it could have turned out a little better.  If I were to do it again I'd just pool hot caramel on the bottom of the bowl instead of channeling my inner chemist and infusing the layers.  But live and learn.  If you're looking for a new fall dessert I'd give this one a try.

1. Make Martha's cake in as many layers as you'd like.  Lessen the baking time a few minutes for each layer you want.
2. Make cream cheese frosting:
1 stick butter (softened)
2 packages cream cheese(softened)
2 cups of powdered sugar (or more to taste) I went the less route so it wouldn't be overly sweet

3. Poke holes in the cake (or go the pool route and don't) and fill them with the salted caramel

4. Top first layer with frosting and then repeat with all your layers

5. Frost the whole cake with a light coat and stick it in the fridge for 30 minutes

6.Frost the cake again with remaining frosting until nice and purty
7. Decorate how your inner Martha would lead you.  I went with grated white chocolate and coated some leaves with the rest of the melted chocolate until set.

8. Stand back and admire your masterpiece!
9. After eating one perfect piece put the cake back together and walk it over to your neighbors house.  The End

In other non cake related news I have in fact taken two small steps away from the coop and started school this week.  What was supposed to be one class turned into two and away we go.  I have to say I'm a bit giddy about it all.  If your interested in the nitty gritty I'm getting a masters in curriculum & development with an early childhood focus at PSU.  Whew that's a mouthful.
 I told Ava I was going back to school and she immediately made me a name tag and insisted on taking my picture.  She then rolled her eyes and said that she doesn't think she has time to make me lunch every day.  I assured her that I wouldn't be requiring a lunch and she ran off to practice her spinjitzu.  (don't ask)

I do want to say how thankful I am for the certain gift of clarity this fall.  A few months ago I started to feel a little nudge.  It began with a quiet whisper to erase the white board.  So Ben and I said no to a few of our usual autumn suspects.  All good commitments.  Great commitments in fact.  Then I just waited for Him to fill in the blanks.  And He did.
Sometimes I hesitate to even throw the praises out there because sometimes (or a million times) God doesn't fill in the blanks.  He lets us sweat it out awhile.  I'm guessing this is because He would rather have us hanging onto Him instead of hanging onto our comfortable circumstances.  We all know the stories of how the money came through right when we needed it and so and so was cured and then he found a job in the nick of time.
But God is God even when our circumstances don't change and we break down in the ugly cry at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday.  He knows what we need and will take us where we're going.  He's our loudest fan on the sidelines and cheers us on when we fall.  He wants our most honest insides.  He doesn't love us because we're doing the best.  He loves us because we're His.
So with that disclaimer, He's given me a few busier nights.  One will be helping a neighbor start a small spiritual exploration group with some very sweet ladies looking for a little more hope in their lives.  What a privilege right?  To be a part of someone's God journey.  It's scary too but I'm excited to just share my story and look for truth right along with them.
And then there's class.  Whoo hoo!  I am loving it.  Honestly it's too easy and I catch myself making notes about how I'd teach it differently.  I mean, if I have to find two babysitters, make dinner in the crockpot, and lay out everyone's footy jammies, the least you could do is not wear a sweatsuit to teach class.
But I feel a little bit more alive.  It's all still there.  What stirs me up and gets me mad and makes me smile from the city to my driveway.  And weirdly it makes me happier when I'm around my kiddos.  There's actually room for both.
Maybe it's a not rebellious notion but it kind of is for me.
So today I'm thankful for a season of peace and busyness and freshly paved road.

I just wanted a slice of pizza

This week has been so off-kilter I think it might be right.  I figure you can only go so far in the wrong direction before it actually becomes right, right?  There's been a giant Cheeto on the dining room floor for five straight days.  I refuse to pick it up just to see how long it will stay there.  Mama starts grad school tomorrow so I imagine it can only go downhill from here.  Or uphill, depending on how you look at it.  I'm sure the kids will appreciate a few days of unkempt hair, mismatched clothes and frozen pizza for dinner.  Anyhoo, we're not here to discuss our slow family decent, we're here for a friendly ego-boost.

So let us begin at bedtime.  As I was putting Ian down last night he chose the classic story of The Three Little Pigs.  All was fine and dandy until I got to the wolf's line and then I couldn't stop laughing because I had one of those weird flashbacks where something so absurd happened that you wonder if it really happened at all.  Then you realize that it actually did happen and you have to relive the shame all over again, all while your two year old stares at you and waits for the next page.
Because really mom, I highly doubt your story can top the daily embarrassment of needing other people to clean poop off your body.   We'll see.
It all started back in Oakland California in late July.  The entire family checked into the Homewood Suites and agreed to meet back at Mom and Dad Hsieh's room for pizza.  I went to our room and set up the pack and play and the pull out bed.  I changed Ian's diaper and put all our clothes away in the dresser.  Then Ben came to get the kids and took them next door for dinner.  After I finished up and made sure I had the room key, I went to room 103 and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"
"Rebekah"
"Rebekah who?"
Rebekah who?  What do you mean Rebekah who?  Rebekah, your daughter in law. 
Oh, I see we're playing a little game.  Well two can play at this game. 
 Other than that inner dialogue I cannot exactly explain what happened next.  One minute I was me and the next minute I was channeling my inner drama student.  Because out of nowhere and before I could even stop myself I said in a full on husky wolf voice,
"Little pig, little pig let me in."
"Um, you can come in but I think you might have the wrong room."
At this point I panicked because I realized that this was not my family on the other side of the door.  Unfortunately, just as I was listing the options in my head:
1. pretend I was a crazy person and ask if they could point me in the direction of the pigs house.
2. pretend I was being cute and invite myself in with the hopes of setting him up with one of my single friends/siblings, or
 3. run
 the door opened, and not that it matters but it was a very handsome young gentlemen and he was standing in front of a group of handsome young gentlemen all waiting to see what I would do.  I did my best to regain my composure but what can you really do at that point.  There is no explanation for my behavior.  Even I didn't understand what had happened.  So I quietly apologized, went back to my room and prayed that I wouldn't see him at the breakfast buffet.
 It turned out my in laws were actually two doors down but I guess I missed that important piece of information.
The moral of the story is obvious.
Don't act like a complete idiot unless you are actually standing face to face with people who accept you and all your unexplained dramatic impulses.  And maybe double check room locations before prowling the hotel as a crazy dog.

Wolf Girl Out

Friday Favorites

1. I am in love with this mediterranean salad that I think I invented.  It might have started with a Martha Stewart cookbook but it became an RH special with the addition of a few sweet elements.  I know your shocked.  Here's the break down:

Grab some cherries and chop em up.  I had both fresh and dried but I think the dried worked out better.

 Shred a rotisserie chicken

Dice some pita bread, drizzle it with olive oil and a sprinkle of salt & pepper, then toast it in a 350 oven until crisp and golden.

 Chop an english (or whatever) cucumber as the bottom layer

 Add the cherries

 layer the chicken and a bunch of fresh dill.

 Top with the toasted (and cooled) pita chips

 and a sprinkle of feta cheese.

 Now you just need some dressing.  I usually eyeball equal parts olive oil, cider vinegar and honey and then sprinkle in some salt and pepper but you can just use your favorite dressing.  Except maybe italian because that would just be weird.  And, voila!  You have the perfect lunch, or baby meal, or thank you for babysitting my kids three times this week meal.  If you do give it away just remember to keep the salad and the dressing separate or the pita will get soggy.
2. I'm not sure if I'm late to the party on this band but their voices are so haunting it gives me chills.  Ben found them awhile back but I didn't really pay attention until I heard Poison and Wine on VH1 storytellers.  Here's the whole shebang but my favorite starts at song #3.  It is the portrait of choosing to journey with someone and the honesty that comes from living simultaneously with your worst enemy and greatest ally.
3. The Honest Toddler is the funniest thing I've read in awhile.  And the big bed post will make you go from a smile to an embarrassing stomach clenching laugh by the end.  There is a chance that this might only be funny if you have an actual toddler in your house.  I'm not sure if all my sense of what's funny has been skewed by having kids or not.  You've been warned.

4. Trader Joe's caramel sea salt is my new late night addiction.  But I have serious plans for it besides eating it straight from the jar pouring it over ice cream.  I'm calling it pumpkin caramel cake and after I make two pumpkin cakes I'll be drilling holes and filling them with this elixir.  Then I will stack them, frost them with cream cheese icing, and cover the whole thing with shaved white chocolate.  I'm still working on the logistics but I think it's a good start.

5. I know this list is getting music heavy but I've decided that everyone needs this cd.  I bought if after high school and it has been a staple ever since.  Otis just knows how to get it done.  It will add instant soul to your afternoon.  It's only $7 on amazon so you really have no excuse.

6. I'm kind of loving this website right now.  Especially this piece.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person left who doesn't own a signature turquoise necklace.  (is this a first world problem?) I haven't pulled the trigger yet but as soon as I find the fifty bucks that I accidentally left in my down jacket last winter, it will be mine.  And I will justify it by saying it's a good cause.  Because it is people!  It's a good cause! 
7. And we'll end with a classic.  Crayola watercolors.  Because there's only so many times you can read I Want To Drive A Tanker Truck without actually wanting to be run over by a tanker truck. Watercolors are easy and fun and a little creativity in the day is always appreciated.  Plus you have something to show for your efforts at the end of the day, you know besides happy children, a beautiful mediterranean salad and your cute self in a signature turquoise necklace.

recorded

Our first full week is officially in the books.  I'd say we're coming into Fall with style.  In fact we might have approached the first stretch with a little too much enthusiasm.  At this rate we're going to be burnt out by the time Halloween rolls around.  But a little pomp and circumstance is always appreciated where new beginnings are involved and so we celebrate.  

Back to school party!

5 superstar kiddos

apple cupcakes

All decorations supplied by Target's fifty cent bin

A desperate plea for her friends to arrive so she can get her party on

Our first game of the year.  Ava's definitely getting into her soccer groove this time around.

She shoots and scores and beams with pride.  I'm trying to avoid fist pumping when she pushes the boys around.

 The first school lunch. 

 By request: pb&j, chocolate milk, snap peas, plum, and chocolate chip cookie.

 Kindergarten

 Bring it!

 Sometimes I'll run for the bus

 I can show my teacher how I ride a bike (seriously, these were unprompted)

 I'm so proud of this lovely little person

 This is her teacher, Mrs. Scott, right before Mama's were kicked out of the classroom

 There was palpable excitement on the first school bus day.  "When is it going to get here?!!"

 "Bye, bye!  You can come and visit if you want!"  I must say it took a fair amount of restraint not to follow her school bus with a pair of binoculars, but then I had visions of me as Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment and went back in the house.

Finally on Sunday we took advantage of another gorgeous day and drove out to Sauvie Island after church.  The weather has been so nice I feel like I have to speak in hushed tones here but it looks like I'll be white knuckling summer well into October.  

I hadn't been out here since high school.  It kind of feels like sacred ground as Tien and I used to drive here in the old Honda Accord with nothing but our swimsuits and Bryan Adams greatest hits.  We would swim and pick the juiciest peaches and solve the worlds problems until we were sun burned and heart full. 

But a visit to this beautiful place was well overdue.  So we packed up floaties, and a boat, and sunscreen, and hats, and changes of clothes, and beach toys, and a cooler of food, and our high maintenance kiddos and made the short drive from church.  I pretended that we were road tripping it through Nantucket in the fall.  It was easy to do with all the road side markets and u-pick farms.  The roads were lined with ten foot high cornstalks and apple orchards as far as you could see.  

We took a few short boat rides and charted a course for the open sea.  There were sand castles to build and sticks to collect and stories to be told.

 Everything looks better when the sun is shining and you have a cheesecake brownie in your hand.

 Unfortunately Mama's plans to pick bags of apples for her new spiced applesauce cake recipe, were dashed when little 1 and little 2 fell asleep before the first dust flew up from our tires. 

 So yes, I know the drill.  It's time for some order.  Some Monday through Friday, top to bottom, routine.  But we will still look for adventure in the corners of fall and winter.  Maybe I'll have to work a little harder.  But in between soccer practice and homework I will search out those summer smiles. 

non-negotiables

Well we are a solid nine months into the year of the two's. (break for applause)  I know I've said it before but living with a two year old is a little bit like having a terrorist hanging around your kitchen.  You never know when they're going to try and hold you hostage.  Odds are highly in your favor that it will be during a mundane task like getting dressed or exiting the car.  Only they won't pull out a gun, no they're much smarter then that.  Their will is their weapon.
But I'm in my second round of this whole two-thing and mama has a few tricks up her sleeve.  I mean, I know it's the end of the world that your sister gets to obtain the smiley face from the receipt checker at Costco but if you'll agree to not stage a smackdown in the store I will reward you with a fruit snack.
Stayed tuned for my new book entitled: Parenting:  3/4 patience, 1/4 fruit snacks.
But even though little pookie has pushed me to my limits on more than one occasion I have to say I'm loving all the personality that has come through this year.  As part of our arrangement in the smackdown/ toxic food bribery department I have agreed to let a few things go.  These are what we lovingly call:  the non-negotiables.

1. Since mid August Ian has decided that he is a "inja" (ninja).  This means that he will pull his shirt off in various places and choreograph sound effects to his invisible sword.  Sometimes it's one sleeve,

 and sometimes it's two.

Yes, it can be embarrassing as it appears my son is rehearsing for a drag queen performance.  But there are more important battles to be fought and good gracious the boy can only eat so many fruit snacks in a day.

 2.  Despite my best efforts at a faux-hawk Ian is a staunch conservative when it comes to his hair.

 3. And his shoes.  The kid owns more than one pair of edgy shoes but he insists on these.  He calls them his "chewch shoes" and tries to wear them to bed over his footie jammies.  I will neither confirm nor deny that Ben and I hid them in the armoire and claimed they were lost on multiple occasions, resulting in tears and barefoot stomping.  The boy has some mad stomping skills.

 4.  Yes, it's the classic thumb sucking, belly button rubbing comfort mechanism.  It is the joy of my day.  It is the signal for stress and the cuddle on the couch and the soothing motion during our nightly reading of goodnight moon.  It is him and that is why I love it.  

 It never ceases to amaze me how two children can come from the same womb and be complete opposites in every way.  Where Ava is adventurous, Ian is cautious.  Where Ava is loud, Ian is quiet.  When Ava runs, Ian clings.  But in his own way he is taking steps towards independence.  And while I wouldn't mind trading in a few of those right-in-the-middle-of-aisle-nine tantrums or ending every sentence with the word "poop", I definitely wouldn't trade the boy who looks at me with spiderman eyes and wants to be held a little longer.  Because those kisses are non-negotiable.