Two perfect days in Seattle

Little miss and I were invited for a girls weekend up north and jumped at the chance to indulge in all things extravagant and whimsical.  I grabbed my trusted (things I hope to someday see in Seattle besides fish throwers and shopping malls) list and fellow small groupie Abby and started our journey.  Of course an hour in I realized that in all my excitement I had A. forgotten Ava's jacket, and B. forgotten all sleeping related items.  Luckily Abby hooked us up and with a slight sleeve roll we were on our way.  After eating cake and chit chatting into the wee hours we woke up with a plan.  Our first stop was the Volunteer Park Cafe which was the most ridiculously cute boutique restaurant I had been to in awhile.  If Abby hadn't insisted on paying I would have ordered one of everything, well at least the cookies anyway.  Thankfully I was with like minded travelers.

Daydreaming while waiting for us to order

 Beautiful Abby, who although she has chosen not to have children, always has pages of wisdom in this mothering journey.

 Confident that we had covered all the food groups: 

sweet, buttery, salty, gooey, crunchy, creamy, and chocolatey

 we allowed some soup with lunch. 

 Ava was in her happy place as Janelle suggested we play a game where everyone choose which direction to go after lunch.  Guess where the 8 year old landed us?

 You are never too old for a game of chase

 The park was bursting with autumn rainbows

 and trees just right for climbing

 skipping rocks into the pond

 an old water tower

 and a perfect view

 Next on my list was a warehouse turned craft shop and exotic charcuterie?  I think I spent an hour up in the loft at this tiny nook of a shop called Butter.  Then I left crying because I couldn't afford ALL THE THINGS.  Look at these pendant pulley lights!  Could they be any cuter?

 And of course we stopped to smell the roses

 and browse fun cookbooks

Then we walked downtown a bit and while the ladies did some shopping I let Ava choose a spot.  Of course she chose a bookstore.  I might have failed to mention that there was an American Girl Store also within walking distance.  

A few selfies

 She loves her some peppermint hot chocolate

After some yummy Thai food we cozied up and played no less than 100 games of chinese checkers. Poor, poor Abby.  I'm not sure she's going to want to travel with this crew for awhile.

 Although she did seem to enjoy the snuggles.  

It was girls choice with Janelles' die hard collection of romantic comedies and Shirley Temple flicks.  We went with The Little Princess.  I'm pretty sure I heard Ben clapping from 200 miles away as he did not have to suffer through 48 hours of fanciful girl time. 

Before saying our goodbyes we wisely heeded Janelle's advice to stop at Cactus for brunch.  I am still dreaming about the green chile biscuits with chorizo gravy and the tres leches french toast.  There are so few restaurants that serve New Mexican food and this place made me plot my next trip north before I had finished one sip of their hibiscus mango agua fresca.  

The moral of this story is that I need to quit my job and become a travel blogger...
right?
Time with my girl, time to wander, time to run half naked in 30 degree weather to find the apartment hot tub, time to eat dessert first, time to add the full two hours to the meter and walk east just because its a cute neighborhood.
Miss A said it best,  "Mama I am SO glad we did this.  I had the best time."
Me too babe.  Let's do it again soon.
And I meant it.

tupelo honey

Well you had the nerve to turn 8 this month.  I suppose it's what every mama feels but I still look at you and see those chubby cheeks and soft curls.  Oh baby girl.  It's been a ride hasn't it?  I know we're both antsy about what's coming.  But you go ahead and stretch those wings and I promise to not clip them every chance I get.  Hey, that's progress.
I was not joking when I looked you in the eyes and said we are both going to make mistakes.  Mostly mine.  I saw you tear up as the reality of an imperfect mama stared you straight in the face.  I've tried to fake it for a long time but you're wiser now.  Thank you for all the moments you remind me to see the alternatives to frustration and criticism.  I am humbled by all the generosity in your chocolate brown eyes.

People stop me to talk about how amazing you are.  Did you know that?  Your sunday school teachers, other parents and even the school secretary.  I beam inside so much that it scares me.  It scares me how much of you is wrapped up in my identity.  Especially when I know how much your wild will kept me on my knees.  When I know it was grace that got us through ALL the days.

Sister friend you wear some fearless armor over that tan skin.  I definitely have you to thank for these worry lines over my eyebrows.  I know you don't want to wear those glitter boots because they can't make you fly like your Vans.  And forget about anything that inhibits your tree climbing capabilities.  Sorry I guilt tripped you into a skirt last week.  It's just so hard when you have a little girl and you get to pick out all these cute clothes.  I'm trying to let go of it.  Pinky swear.

And when that bravery fails. When your fears and shyness seem like mountains you simply cannot climb.  When I can choose to be your enemy or your ally.  I wont dismiss your battles.  I'll try to listen, nudge you when you're ready, and whisper to you the source for perfect peace.  

What began as a desperate attempt to wrangle a fellow actor onto your stage (somewhere between chubby baby and skinny boy) became a solid friendship with an equally creative playwright.  I breathe deeply listening to you on all the long slow mornings.  And it's not just with Ian.  I swear I could drop you off anywhere and you would have a group of one to sixteen year olds wearing dress up clothes and engrossed in some fairy tale.  You are able to skip and dance between four year old play and fourth grade antics in a way that keeps me guessing.  It's a skill that will serve you well babesy.  This world is stocked with characters and you just never know who might end up in your circle.

Lately you've become a bit of a bookworm.  Your teacher said that you might as well skip school and go straight to college (or something similar).  So embrace your inner smarty pants.  Don't run from the hard work (i.e. Spanish) because you didn't master it on the first try.  It's ok to be great at some things and good enough at others.  We're all in the same boat on this one girly.

Could you be any more stunning?  I don't even want to tell you that because I'm scared you'll anchor too much in all that outside beauty.  Especially when I know that the true gems are mined much deeper within you.  So I pray you'll learn to wield your mind and faith before your smile.
And that there are many years of braces and flat chestedness in your future.

Are you going to be a teacher?  Or an artist?  Or a circus performer?  Or a veterinarian?  Or a stage actress?  Or the cash register lady at McDonald's so you can get a discount on fries and mango pineapple smoothies?  I don't know.  What I do know is that your coworkers will think you're the funniest girl at work.  Those joke books are going to pay off one day, I'm telling you.

Your best things right now:
waffles
the color blue
friends
chapter books
Sky High
stuffed animals
Jamba Juice
drawing
rainbow looming
ziplining
tree climbing
nighttime snuggles

You are a spectacular girl Ava bear.  I have loved being your mama and pray blessings on this year beyond your wildest imaginations.  Ok, maybe not living in candy land and riding a blue unicorn to your friends houses every day.  But pretty dang close.  Love you, love you, love you,

Mommy

And the beat goes on...

Sometimes (ok twice) we get to work early have silly time in the car.  Spiderman has a bag of tricks 2 feet deep.  Most of the time he cracks this mama up.  Unfortunately his new favorite involves mustering up the stinkiest of smells.  Then we head for the exits ASAP. 

 "Mama, why don't we ever park in the spot with the man going to the potty?"
All these years I have never seen it that way.

 The exact moment when I wish I would have peed before leaving work.

 These two are still rock steady playmates.  I don't even question it anymore.  I found this happening on my bed when I got out of the shower.

 I think it was called belly blast.

 Do you love my new panini press?  Grilled cheese in half the time.

 Why the long face babe?  Is it because we forgot to buy pull ups and you had to wear one of mama's postpartum diaper pads in your batman underwear?
I guess I'm the only one who recognizes my genius in this situation.

 School photo time!  Her front tooth almost made a full appearance for the occasion.

 Little man is going through a bit of a rainbow phase.

Did I say a bit?  I mean he is obsessed with drawing rainbows.  Morning, noon, and night both at home and at his school.  There is no more room in all the house.  There is no more color in all the markers.  

I'm fresh off a 24 hour date night and two slices of cherry pie but I'm soaking up the snapshots of our beautiful ordinary this morning.

October bucket list

So maybe I'm not the worlds biggest fan of all things Autumn but seriously you'd have to be dead inside not to appreciate these colors.

Not that they sparkle in the just-right light as much as these two...

But I digress...
When my beauty quest turns screenward I can't help but make some mental notes.  Sometimes inspiration is better than vitamin d (the bottle kind not the sunshine kind.)

I really want to find $1500 in last Fall's jean pocket and crash a party at this place.  Crafting, cooking, eating, and dreaming about God's big plans.  Yes please.

From bon appetit's throw-a-party-like-our-parents-did, to Brad and Angie's new movie in Malta, the 70's are rockin it right now.  Maybe this will remind us to keep some things in the past.

How good does this look for dinner?

And then I'll take this for dessert.

Foster care has been burning a hole in my heart lately and this book cracked open the door a little.  It painted huge swaths of grey into my black and white ideas about poverty and social work and the "system."  I'm left unsettled in the best kind of way.

This blog is my go to for new sensory table ideas in the classroom but they have so many amazing Reggio inspired ideas that it's hard to pick a favorite.  The one thing I absolutely LOVE is that instead of complaining of all the sit-down, be quiet and do your worksheet attitude when her son started kindergarten, she did something amazing.  Um, hello Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher, would you mind if I donated a sensory bin for your class and changed out the materials bi-monthly?  Who's going to say no to that?!  Please hold me to it when Ian starts next year.

Three current book recommendations from the littles...
one

two

and three

After my last blog post I stumbled upon this and even though I'm not a new mom it just felt serendipitous.  I'm actually going to forward it to a new mom that we brought a meal to today.  Man did she look exhausted and desperate for answers.  I really wanted to take her out for cheesecake.

Speaking of cheesecake....just kidding.

I know the amazing Jen Hatmaker started a thang with this book.

and I'm not going to pretend I was anywhere close to staging a mutiny, except for those few years there really wasn't any choice in the matter.  But now it seems to have seeped into the cracks of our psyche and I kind of like it.  The capsule wardrobe is the new it girl of your closet.  If I manage to snag an afternoon with zero responsibility I am definitely on board.  I spend way too many mornings staring at my bulging closet wondering what to wear.  This just seems practical.

My hilarious Amy O. shared this on facebook and I could not stop laughing.  Genius.

And into another week we go.  Wide eyed at this beautiful season.
Ok maybe peeking though my fingers.

ordinary days

Tuesday morning as I turned the corner out of our street and came to an abrupt halt for a school bus stop sign I locked eyes with a woman dropping off her kids.  It was almost pitch black out but she couldn't have been clearer standing under the street lamp.  I immediately felt a twinge of jealousy over her bed head, flannel jammies, and large snoopy mug as she shuttled her two littles up those dirty bus steps and headed back inside.  For all I know she had a sleeping baby and a fast food job waiting for her that day but for just a moment I wished it was me standing there.  I imagined coming home to an empty house and hunkering down in front of the fire with my stack of books and the perfect nap blanket.  I thought of recipes I wanted to make and life I was desperate to record.
As I neared the interstate with Ian singing "I am holding on to you," in the backseat I considered something new.  I started to wonder what she thought when she saw me.  Did she wish she had a reason to curl her hair at 7am and put on a cute necklace?  Did she wish she had a set of keys around her neck?  Did she wish she could trade her cozy mug for Starbucks?  Probably not I thought.  But maybe.

I'm not sure if it's just women who play this comparing game but I do know that if self pity were a currency I would be very, very rich.  

As I drove I was reminded of how many days I longed for answers about how my gifts and passions would play out.  How many days I wondered if there would ever be extra money to go out to dinner and splurge on a bag of pecans at Costco. (seriously they're like $20!)  And now that I get to walk into a classroom with outstretched arms and the 3 year old chant of "Teacher Rebekah is here!  I was waiting for you." and splurge on not only pecans but travel hummus, I still resort to discontentment and jealousy.  

I remembered that quote from the office about wishing there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.  I know this but sometimes, ok a lot of times, I forget.  These messy days of teaching and mentoring families and not remembering where I'm picking up my daughter and coordinating schedules and falling asleep before 8pm and Safeway lasagna and showing up at soccer games in the wrong colored jersey and 5am quiet times and tear stained cheeks while sitting in traffic, these are the good days for our family.  Honestly, I wish I wasn't still having to process these changes. Yet every sunrise brings a new plea.  A prayer that I would have eyes to see that this is where He wants me.  This is where I will flourish because I have committed these ordinary days to Him and He promises to set the pavers in front of me.  And just in case I forget, a nightly reminder from my 4 year old to be ever thankful for the small gifts.