Not so Ordinary ten

In this busy season finding beauty in our ordinary moments has been my greatest obstacle.  Life is so full and when we're not working, in the drive through, doing homework, at soccer/tai kwon do/fill in the blank, washing bloody nose sheets at 3 am, writing papers for class, forever rushing out the door, I pull the covers over my head and whisper to Ben, "are we doing the right thing here?"  Am I the only one who thinks we should quit this life and become nepalese goat herders?  And he gives me a look of love and also of, honey you own all the crazy because you could not cut it as a farmer and we both know that.  So I shove it aside and set the cursed alarm for five one five.  

Let me tell you a little something I've learned about my m.o. this year.  I am the first one to want to cut and run.  It takes absolutely nothing to convince me that others have it better off.  I love so that I look good and feel good enough and don't feel like I owe anyone.  Believe me it's ugly stuff.  And that's not the worst part.  The worst part is that I know where contentment is found.  I know that if you break bread with someone who has nothing and then climb into your $200 duvet covered bed you won't go to sleep thinking about what you need.  I know that thankfulness precedes joy.  And still nine times out of ten I'll choose the opposite.  Because staying takes courage and letting Jesus into my pain makes me feel weak.  I crave the idea of loving others from the Love I've received but most of the time I'll settle for a genie.  So maybe the ordinary ten is anything but.  Maybe it is the extraordinary in my right now.  The only reminder that Jesus as beauty giver and not wants granter will bring joy right into the mess.

Spring beauty, cotton candy style

 catch a falling star and put it in your pocket never let it fade away

 rainbow looming for the 100th day of school

 watching mama and brother get baptized

 celebrating our white study at my 'office'

 Tia's short and sweet visit

 golden gate bridge sunset

 rounding up the sweetest almost kindergartener

 confetti parade

 happy place

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.  And be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms, and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.  And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Colosssians 3:15-17

I will just keep on reminding myself.  Hoping that each moment I'll be brave enough to actually do it.