Honey Bear

You are one of a kind baby love.  I can't stop staring at you lately.  At how fast you're changing.  Does it surprise you like it surprises me?  Do you catch yourself looking in the mirror wondering who that girl is looking back at you?  

 There never has been or ever will be someone like you.  You RADIATE beauty.  All long legs, dimples, tan brown skin, and perfect beach waves that match the six freckles on your nose.  You are EXACTLY as you should be.  I can't believe how brave you were in Hawaii.  Even when the water rushed into your mask and you couldn't catch your breath.  You took a moment to collect yourself and then went right back out into the water.  I was so proud of you.  You have more courage at eleven then it's taken me forty years to collect.

 Smart, funny, athletic, artistic, generous, fiery, kind and loyal.  There simply aren't enough adjectives to describe all that's going on in that spirit of yours.

 You are a FORCE, an amazing writer, a sleep talker, a cat whisperer and a song bird.  

You are a slew of contradictions.  Messy and organized.  Graceful and clumsy.  An extrovert who recharges with a quiet book at home.  A vegetable lover with a mad sweet tooth.  

This is my favorite picture of you from our trip.  A pink jewel against a sapphire canvas.  Ready to take on anything life throws at you.  I hope you always remember this moment and the mountains you are about to climb.  I know what you're up against and can only imagine how strong you're going to have to be.  Soon...too soon baby.  But the one who knit you together inside of me will never let you go.  He will be enough.  I promise.

You don't have to hide who you are.  You don't have to pretend you're someone else.  I know you're still figuring all this out.  I watched you on the playground the other day as you teetered between kid world and tween world.  You hesitated about whether you should race down the slide or sit on the park bench.  I watched when Ian asked you to play.  You don't have to hesitate if it's what you want to do.   

I know you want a phone because "everyone else has one."  You have so much time.  The phones will wait.  The world will wait.  I saw you hide your bunny when it was time to pack for Keely's sleepover.  Don't be afraid that kids will laugh.  Let them laugh if they want to.  Between you and me, they're all holding a stuffy at night too.  Or wish they were. 

 If I was in the 5th grade I would pick you every single day.  I'd sit by you at lunch.  I'd play tag with you at recess.  I'd push my desk next to yours.  We would paint our nails and stay up too late playing BFF mad libs.
But since I'm not and I can't, I will be your loudest cheerleader.  And I'll build you a nest that smells like peanut butter cookies and freshly cut lavender.  A place where you can come home and fall into the arms of your biggest fans.   

So when the world is cruel and too much to bear, you can always come home and feel safe, feel loved.  Aves, you make me believe that so many things are possible and you continue to give me a thousand reasons to keep fighting for this life.  I love you, I love you, I love you.