beach bums

Monday Dad and I decided to head to the beach because...well, because it was Monday and the sky was blue.  So we all played a little hooky and drove west for the night.  We chased that sunset and made it just in time for the sky-fest and enough light for s'mores.  It was cold enough to make that first hot shower feel like the best shower you've ever had.

Isn't this sky dreamy?

Grandpa love

S'mores in the cove

Both kids napped in the car until after 5 so we stayed up way past our bedtimes and pulled out some games.  I upped the ante on Arthur Memory by putting one whole dollar in the pot.  Guess who won?

The next morning we slept in and finally walked down to the water around eleven.  Little man carried his dumptruck all the live long day.

While I read for school napped this trio built an awesome tick-tock-croc.  Unfortunately due to all of Ian's "helping" there is no photographic evidence.

The sun was blinding.  "I can't see!  Is this on?"  "I don't know, I can't even see you, how do I know if it's on?  Just take it and we'll hope for the best."  I think our eyes are open but I can't really tell.

This girl would eat s'mores all day if I let her.  She definitely has some Lawson genes.


Man, it's hard to build a mermaid tail in dry sand.

Cutie pie

Has anybody seen my legs?  They were here a minute ago.

I'll take one smooch from the legless sand boy please

Model pose

My new screensaver

Miss A spent a good two hours digging lakes and paths for this tiny stream

And of course a heart shaped island

This is the joy of the beach.  Seven hours in one place and no complaints.  They don't need toys or tv or ask for the ipad once. Everything they need is already there.  Except maybe sunscreen.  Next time I will definitely apply sunscreen.

Use your muscles to get me out of here super mommy!

And then it hits you.  I might be sunburned.  Maybe we should have taken naps and drank a glass of water.  How much sand is in my underwear exactly?

Despite the fact that I'm still cleaning sand out of the bathtub and applying aloe to my arms, it will always lure me back.

rearview mirror

I am continually amazed by how much God likes to surprise me with my own life.  You think you know but you don't really.  You wake up each morning with reasonable confidence of what things will look like in 6 months or a year or two years.  I plan and I worry and I run things around in my head over and over but it's so unnecessary.  I wish I could learn this but I never do.
When our fall year began I didn't know that I would go to grad school.  It just so happened that Ben had a few credits at PSU and I might as well use them.  I didn't know that would turn into me working towards a master's degree.  I didn't know that I would meet someone who taught at PCC and would want me to apply for a job at their lab school.  Probably the best surprise though has been the opportunity to work with my mom at Head Start.  For most of my classes these past two semesters I've needed to do project work in early childhood.  And since my current classroom only consists of two kids, mom graciously let me hang out with her students. 

 To say this group of kids is challenging would be a gross understatement.  As the lead teacher my mom has been kicked, hit, spit on, and called a mother-f'er on more than one occasion.  In spite of all this, she has done the most amazing job with them.  She 's patient and does not use their anger as an excuse to say they aren't teachable.  It's not like their behavior should be any surprise when you hear these kids stories.  I would be pretty angry too if I had been abandoned, had a parent in jail, been at the very worst abused and the very best neglected.  There are very few happy endings here.

But I was surprised that after only a few visits they let me into their lives.  They took my hand and gave butterfly kisses.  They let me negotiate conflict and help them find safe spaces. They loved when I took their pictures and played with legos.  

So for my art and creativity with young children class, I took my assignment to this group.  I was given free reign to design a project around any given art form/artist.  My only objective was to let them create and document the beauty each of them is capable of.  We read a couple of my favorite books with illustrators who do splatter paintings, talked about Jackson Pollock, and explained how to make rainbows explode on your canvas.  I had no idea if this would appeal to them or if the idea of not touching your brush to your canvas would be frustrating.  Turned out it was both, with a whole lot of chaos mixed in.  A few of them spent twenty minutes dripping and dropping and flicking and then took their brush over the whole thing and left.  I was surprised by how much concentration each of them gave to their work.  Very few words were spoken except to ask for more colors.
But man, they did not take the term, rainbow explosion, metaphorically.  There was paint everywhere.  I hope their parents don't hate me.  The assistants stared like I was a crazy woman.  The kids looked up at me every once and awhile to make sure it was ok.  We all wore a little rainbow explosion home that day.  But the end result?  Top to bottom beauty.

After taking each of their pictures I photoshopped them to make their faces and one color stand out most.  I tried to get Costco to donate photo canvases but their best offer was a $25 gift card.  So I found frames at the dollar store and displayed their photos next to their work.  Best fifty bucks I ever spent.  Turns out, it is not difficult to find the extraordinary.  You just have to zoom in close enough.  "Teacher, why is my face so big?!"

I also thought it would have been powerful to put all their canvases together to make one giant piece of art.  But since my objective was to help them see the beauty inside of themselves I felt this configuration worked better.  

Art and Artists

So yes, our house has been a little messier this year.  Some days my kids don't know where they'll be come 3 in the afternoon.  I've had to put myself in the mostly uncomfortable position of relying on friends and family to get us through our week.  My quality time with Ben has been between six and seven in the morning as we exchange snuggles and the details of our schedule.
Most days I question if our family can handle all this change.  But God has been nothing but gracious as each part of this years journey has unfolded.  And although it's messier, I can also see the full-er me.  It's not so much about balance as it is about falling, breathing, feeling guilty, crying, laughing, acting out in faith, feeling fulfilled, feeling like I can't do it, receiving peace that I can, and repeating the cycle.

I'm thankful for the days I'm home snuggling my kiddos and baking cookies but I'm also thankful for the path that leads me into the lives of other's who might need an eight by ten close up of take- your- breath -away wonder.

Hodgepodge

Firstly, I just have to say that I made it out of the house kid free not one but two nights this week for some movie hopping.  Recently Anne and I realized that since we're both up until midnight anyway, we might as well be productive.  So we hit up the 10:30 showing of Great Gatsby on a Tuesday and splurged on the large popcorn.  I think I rolled into bed at 1:30 in the A.M.'s and only regretted it for about ten minutes the next day while I arranged a 7 am showing of Cars 2 for the shorties.   

As far as the movie goes I really liked it.  Of course I knew the story was going to be depressing.  I was really just there for the dresses, and the music, and the company, and the popcorn and the freedom.  It might become an addiction.

Then my Dad called and said Mom would watch the kiddos so we could go see Star Trek in the middle of the afternoon.  Sign.Me.Up.  I'm going to just put it out there that I've been checking for 2 years to see when the next Star Trek was coming out.  I think I even googled once to see if he was going to have a love interest.  It might just be one of my top ten favorite movies.  And I've never seen a Star Trek episode in my life.  I love the action and the humor and that it's really about the friendship between Jim Kirk and Spok.  I can't believe I just typed that.  I don't even know if that's how you spell their names.  

The second one did not disappoint.  The scenes on the other world's were amazing and don't look fake like all the new Star Wars movies.  It was hilarious and scary and smart and I even cried once!  I ate it up like the last piece of red velvet birthday cake sitting on my counter since Monday.

Speaking of birthdays we celebrated two this week.  Mine and my man's.  Between the birthdays and mother's day, I'm a little celebrated out.  I don't think I cooked a meal in my kitchen for six days.  That might sound really good but pretty soon you just feel fat and broke.  I should have listened to my mothers advice, "Everything in moderation", before I was born on Mother's Day and married a man with a birthday two days after mine. 

But, as I am finally home for the evening and put the kids down by 7 (holla!), I have time to bask in the glow of being so deeply loved by those around me.  From breakfast in bed, to dinners out, to a new lens for the camera (yay!), to gift cards and clothes and fancy gold earrings and magazine subscriptions and candles and lotions and cute bags and the most amazing artwork from a local artist.  I am known and I am loved.  So here's me giving a long, slow,non -ironic clap to my biggest fans.  I would be lost without your support and encouragement and time and laughter and prayers.

Secondly, yes were only on number two, I ran into these beauty's at Spicer's today and I think I scared the man working there with my enthusiasm.  I squealed, out loud, and then in a half scream/half growl I asked, "When did you get these?"  It came out a little more accusatory then I intended.  Then I pulled out my camera but I don't know how to work it yet so I had to get in this really weird position on the ground to get this shot.  People stared.  I can't say that I blame them.  For dinner I just dumped an entire pint into a bowl and threw them on the table.  Summer with a side of juicy sweetness.  Yes please.

Ben got a whole lot of love on his birthday too.  This handsome man with the sexy shoulders is the chorus between the verses of our family.  He is the best kind of quirky and the person I want next to me at every party.  He brings home the bacon and never complains.  I love that he plays Third Eye Blind songs on his banjo and took 30 pictures of me brushing my teeth in my underwear when playing with the new lens.  Happy 36 my love!

Here we are celebrating Mother's Day with my amazing mom.  We color coordinated our outfits, ate brunch and drank mimosas.  It was very Mad Men of us.    

This is my new shirt from the Banana Republic outlet clearance section and was actually from the mad men collection.  I decided to ignore the petite extra extra small (yes, that's actually a thing) sizing and just went with it because it was $12 and if I stand up straight and slightly to the left it almost fits.  I was especially thankful that I purchased it when I realized, while sitting in the front row of church, that I had sang two hymns with my bra completely exposed.  Luckily, our church sits in a semi-circle formation so every member could get an unobstructed view.  It's always been a lifelong dream of mine to sing topless in church so win-win.  It was especially fantastic when Ben realized I was exposing myself and tried to close my shirt, only to appear that he wanted to grope me profusely during On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand.  Note to self:  Buy safety pins.

And in closing, when did my six year old turn fourteen?  I swear I went in to kiss her sweet sleeping forehead and her legs spanned the length of the bed.  She rides scooters and says things like, "Seriously, are you kidding me right now?"  I can't believe that if she had been born two months earlier she would be going into second grade next year.  I just love her so much.  Even though we have our days she's becoming a friend and someone I want to hang out with.  Just not at six am when I've only had five hours of sleep.  Note to self: Invest in a time machine.

Crazy for Coconut Congo Bars

If you've been working really hard to exercise and eat right than I am issuing a formal apology for what's coming next.  I decided it was finally time to post these because they are my absolute favorite cookie in a one- trip- to- the -oven bar form.  They are moist and exotic and hit all the right notes for any coconut lover.  After documenting the making of them I realize they are a tad fussy.  Only because you might not have all the ingredients on hand, but like vanilla beans and good curry powder they really should claim a spot on the grocery list.  I'm pretty sure your friends will buy you a world's best cook apron if you bring them to a summer bbq.  I don't know if they freeze well because they've never lasted long enough to find out.  What I do know is this.
 If you make them for yourself, just because, you will casually leave a knife sitting by the pan and every hour or so you will cut a small piece out until you're husband comes home and you're forced to make up an elaborate lie about how your youngest child snuck up on the counter and ate half the tray while you were in the shower.  It won't be pretty.  So please have an excuse to make these.
 FYI:   It's Tuesday, my doctor said I should add more nuts to my diet, and my period started are not valid reasons.  Let's begin:

Preheat the oven to 350 and toast 1cup of pecans.  About 8-10 minutes should do it.

Throw 1 1/2 cups shredded unsweetened coconut onto the same pan and toast 5-8 minutes until golden.

This is not the time to go paint your nails or reprimand your children for using your pearl necklace to decorate their fairy house outside.

While your doing some toasting, go ahead and make a foil nest for your congo babies.  Take two pieces of foil and fold them into rectangles that will fit neatly into your 9X12 glass pan.  Then spray the foil with cooking spray.  If your planning on eating these by yourself, straight from the pan, this step is probably not necessary.

Now melt 12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter in the microwave and set it aside to cool.

Grab a bowl and sift together 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon table salt.

Put 1& 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar in a big bowl.

Then grab Barry brown sugar and Betty butter and wed them in holy matrimony.

Mix in two eggs

And 4 teaspoons vanilla

Using a large rubber spatula, gently fold the dry ingredients into the brown sugar mixture.

Add the nuts

And the coconut

Now you can either mix 1 cup of white chocolate chips/chopped up bar, or 3 ounces/ 1/2 cup white chocolate and 1/2 cup semisweet/dark chocolate chips/bar into the mix.  Or you can use all dark/semisweet/milk chocolate.  I think I maybe made that more complicated than it needed to be.

I like to do 1/2 and 1/2 and these chips are my favorite

Now gently stir it all together,

pour it into the prepared pan, smooth out the top,

And bake it for 22-25 minutes until the top is shiny and slightly cracked.

Now at this point I know your going to want to grab the 9X13 and a fork and lock yourself in the bathroom but you really should wait at least an hour for these to cool.  This is the time to fold your laundry, knit that matching sweater set for you and your significant other, and reprimand your children for taking a glitter glue stick to your Restoration Hardware duvet because they thought it would make it "so much prettier".

After they've cooled you can lift them right out of their lovely bed and slice them into perfect squares so they'll be all ready for your church potluck.  Or bathroom party for one.  It's totally up to you.

Congo Bars

1 cup pecan, toasted and chopped 

1 1/2 cups unsweetened shredded coconut

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

12 Tablespoons unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar

2 large eggs

4 teaspoons vanilla extract

6 ounces white chocolate chips (1 cup), or chopped bar, or 3 ounces each white chocolate and semisweet chocolate chips